Spectacularly Dysfunctional

I’m not sure who decided that being dysfunctional was something to avoid, fix, or otherwise denounce, but I would like to officially and respectfully disagree.

If “dysfunctional” really means behaving or acting outside of social norms, then I am so in. Raise your hands if you feel like instead of actually bringing joy into your life, “social norms” are actually a total buzz kill?

I have decided that I not only want to be dysfunctional, I want to be SPECTACULARLY dysfunctional. I want to be the total weirdo that people are bugging-eyed and jaw-dropped over. I want to be so spectacularly dysfunctional that folks actually begin to consider that maybe I’m onto something. At first, I scare the shit out of them, then they become super curious, and finally, they realize that my dysfunction looks like so much fun they decide to give it a try. Then, low and behold, they realize I’m just fucking brilliant.

Before you know it, the world is overflowing with spectacularly dysfunctional humans and we are all skipping, hopping, and dancing our way through life with giant, goofy smiles on our faces because we all have successfully figured out that social norms were just a cruel joke that someone from so far back in time created we can’t even trace its initial existence.

Let’s all get matching jackets and join the Spectacularly Dysfunctional gang. We can meet once a week. I’ll bring the beer. Who’s with me?