Expectations vs. Intentions
Knowing the difference between expectations and intentions is a great way to save a whole bunch of frustration and disappointment. It’s a matter of understanding what you’re accepting responsibility for versus what you’re projecting onto others. Identifying the distinction between the two may seem simple but the consequence can either leave you feeling empowered or depleted.
When we place expectations on something or someone, we are also placing the responsibility for the future outcome of a situation onto that person or event.
That might not sound too terrible, right? We get to wash our hands of any blame or consequence of a result or conclusion. Woohoo!
However…
When we do this, we are unfairly dropping our responsibility to whatever role we’ve taken in the situation. More importantly, we are, ultimately, giving up our power and handing it over to the other person or event to determine the outcome. Then, when the situation doesn’t turn out like we expected (the concert, the job, the night out, the marriage…etc.), we get mad, sad, and blameful.
See how this circles back around?
Rather than creating a situation that puts you in a position to get the result you desire, you’re creating a situation that could result in becoming something no one wants to be: a victim. To be even more clear: a victim of circumstance. Boohoo!
Conversely, when we set intentions, we are placing the responsibility of the experience squarely on ourselves. Notice I didn’t say “outcome”. Here’s why: when we set intentions, we are focusing on the present. We are focusing on what we desire and hope for while accepting that we don’t have any control over the future outcome, only what we decide to put into it. This keeps our power in our own hands and also allows us to be co-creators in receiving what we desire. What’s more, if the outcome isn’t what we’d hoped for, we knew going in that it was a possibility but can walk away knowing we played a worthy role in doing our best.
So how do we set intentions while staying away from expectations? Here are three things to consider.
Clarify what you want without assumptions, rather than expecting it. It’s 100% OK to want things to turn out the way you want them to turn out. But we all know things rarely turn out how we thought they would. So rather than possibly being disappointed, know what you want but make no assumptions that that’s what you’ll get.
Be accountable for your role in making something happen, rather than placing the responsibility onto someone else. We discussed this above. Be a co-creator, not a backseat driver.
Surrender to whatever the outcome may be, rather than expecting it to result in what you think it should be. Don’t set yourself up for disappointment. Know what you want, do the work to get what you want, but accept that you may or may not get what you want.
When we can detach from the outcome of a situation, we gain clarity, perspective, and the ability to remain levelheaded and centered in our decision-making.
You just can’t beat that.
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If you’d like more information on how to start living the life you were meant to live, reach out and see how I can help.
