Energetic Boundaries: Why You Need Them and How to Set Them
If you read my previous post on Personal Boundaries, you know that setting rules and limits for others to follow so you can maintain and healthy existence is important. When we talk about personal boundaries, we’re really talking about verbalizing how we expect others to treat us. We must communicate these boundaries openly for others to understand the rules. Sometimes, these aren’t received well, and sometimes getting up the guts to convey them can be difficult. Lots of times, this is what prevents us from setting them in the first place.
Enter energetic boundaries.
Humans are made up of energy and we are each surrounded by our own energy field (the aura). There are two ways we can think about energetic boundaries:
Protecting our energy so that ours stays with us while others stay out of ours.
Energetically conveying the rules on how we want to be treated.
The most wonderful thing about energetic boundaries is that you don’t have to say a word for them to work. You are simply using your own energy and intentions to make sure you are treated how you want to be treated, or you are constructing an energetic boundary to keep your energy intact. Is this magic? No, but it would be fun if it was! In this plane of existence, everything is pretty much ruled by intentions. You’ve heard of karma. This falls within the realm of intentions and energy, no?
Think about a time someone walked into a room where you were and they somehow just “owned” the room without even saying a word. You knew you couldn’t mess with them, or be rude or crass with them, or maybe you just really wanted to talk with them but you couldn’t explain why. This is a person that has learned to use their energy to convey a message about them while letting you know what their boundaries are. When you learn how to harness your own energy and use it for your own highest good, you are setting yourself up for success in every way. This is using your energy to teach others how to treat you.
We omit energy as we go throughout our day, and our energy merges and interacts with everyone else’s that we come into contact with. Since you can't control what effect someone's energy will have on you, it's important to protect your own energy so that your energy remains with you and no one else's disturbs your balance.
In this post, I’m going to focus on how to protect your own energy.
Have you ever walked away from someone feeling really drained and like you need to go home and take a shower? Or maybe you felt overstimulated and a bit manic? Or angry/sad/irritable for no reason? This is because you've likely picked up on someone else's energy and it attached to yours. When you feel what someone else is feeling, it's called empathy. When our loved ones are sad, we're sad for and with them. When they're excited, we're excited for and with them. It's not a bad thing to have empathy, but having empathy for someone versus empathically opening up to the transfer of energy between you and another person isn't healthy.
Empaths are highly sensitive individuals who have a keen ability to sense what people around them are feeling. Some may use the term empath to describe a person that experiences a great deal of empathy, often to the point of taking on the emotions or pain of others at their own expense. This is why it's essential to create energetic boundaries to protect your energy. Most people are empathic on some level, but women especially. We are nurturers, caregivers, and the gender that is considered more in touch with our emotions.
Photo from foreverconscious.com
Our energetic body is made up of an inner Chakra System and an outer Auric Field. Chakras are energy centers located at specific places within the body and are associated with specific emotional and physical health properties. When they are clear and balanced, it allows your energetic body to run like a well-oiled machine, which also allows your physical body to remain top-notch. When they are blocked, it will cause emotional disturbances and, if not remedied, eventually physical ailments. The same goes for your Auric Layers within the Auric Field. Each layer has a specific job and property and if we don't protect our layers, they can break down and become ineffective and rundown. This will inevitably impact our emotional and physical health. For more detailed information on Chakras and their function, go here. For more information on Auras, go here. Understanding your energy system is a gateway to learning how to care for it.
Thankfully, we can set energetic boundaries with the intent to protect our energy and energy system. It is, essentially, like creating a container to house and protect the self. When we create an energetic boundary, it tells your energy system where it ends and where others begin and this is critical so that when your energy comes into contact with another's, it doesn't affect you.
Here is the simplest form of creating an energetic boundary.
Find a quiet place to sit and relax. Close your eyes and begin to breathe deeply into your belly, then the lungs, on a three-count. Exhale on a three-count. When you feel relaxed, return to normal breathing. Either imagine an orb of white light surrounding you in a 360 circle, or you can physically “trace” the outline of a circle from your feet to your head. At the same time, say either out loud or to yourself “shield up”. This formalizes your intention to protect your energy.
If you’d like more in-depth information on my energetic boundary practice, feel free to reach out.
