How I Became a Magnet for All I Desire

Ahhhhh…life. It’s a funny little rotten monster, isn’t it? We’re born into this world perfect and then the nibbling, chipping, and peeling away commences. There we are, left stranded, usually in middle age, trying to figure out just how in the h-e-double-hockey-sticks we got here. (If you’re paying attention, I just gave you a dollop of insight into my current life.)

As I sat with a cup of super-charged coffee one recent morning while pondering these little mysteries of life, I had a majestic epiphany…

I’ve been living life ass-backward.

The big American country raised me to believe that the main priority in life was to chase and acquire money. If done devotedly, the promise was eventual peace through security, contentment, and joy. 

Umm. Someone lied.

In my youth, I was taught to get good grades. Why? Because it was the single, most important factor in getting accepted to college. Why did I want to go to college? So that I could earn a degree, which supposedly led to a good job that paid well enough to buy stuff, put money in the bank, and support a family. I was told that these things were the determining factors of a “happy life”, and that the order of these priorities was just as important as the priorities themselves. So, I went through my life doing, creating, pushing, pulling, contorting, and forcing so that I could build what I was led to believe would give me what I needed to be content. 

This is what you call Masculine Energy. Don’t get this confused with male/female. Masculine energy has nothing to do with being a man versus a woman. It’s a type of energy that, when expressed in its truest form (action), brings about a desired result (makes things happen). 

I was the unexpected fourth child who blessed my already unhappy parents. I was another mouth to feed and another heartbeat to keep alive. After my parents divorced, my mother set about trying to survive life with four kids to care for, and my father set about getting away from all of us. My job was to stay out of the way and cause no trouble. There wasn’t a lot of time or energy devoted to guidance and nurturing. I learned very quickly that if I wanted my needs met, decisions about my life made, and to build a future, I had to make things happen, almost exclusively on my own. Therefore, the first half of my life was very heavy in Masculine Energy, and I didn't even know it. 

Looking back on my previous fifty years of life, I see a bull in a China shop. 

Money has been my priority since I was fifteen and I got my first job. Or, at least it was until my big epiphany. Maybe I’m a little late to the game, but did you know that when you chase money, you’ll never have enough of it? It’s not a punishment or a trick; it’s because if money is your main priority, you’ll most likely live in a continual state of fear of never having enough or someone, or something, taking it from you. Not only that but when you place money as your top priority, it has a way of shoving the natural talents and passions you were born with aside, which are supposed to lead you to your authentic True North. 

So, we seek the joy, contentment, and peace we were promised on the back end of life as a reward for all the things we gave up on the front end. Rather, if we lived our lives from our authentic selves on the front end, we would naturally create the things we desire and need because they would be a byproduct of living our True North. Some folks are lucky enough to fall into the latter category early in life. They have an unquestioning path that they followed right out of the gate and their lives were gratifying from the start. I did not fall into this category, clearly.

If you had met me even 6 years ago, you would’ve been introduced to a very different version of the person I am now. I was ambitious, driven, a workaholic, and money and success-obsessed. I wanted kudos, thumbs up, attention, and constant compliments so I could prove to myself that I was living a meaningful life. My goal wasn’t just to collect accolades; it was to acquire stuff and status that I realized later I didn't even want.

Guess what? I chucked it all, friends. 

I didn’t do this overnight, but my recent life has been a succession of taking out the trash in every way. It’s scary as fuck but holy shit is it rewarding. I’m learning to live in alignment with my Feminine Energy (passive, receiving, attracting). What does this mean? It means that I patiently call in what is within my best and highest good. I trust that what is mine will find me, and that I have a divine right to joy, prosperity, and abundance in all things. Now, I will attract my True North, accept and trust what comes my way, and when the path is revealed to me, I will initiate my Masculine Energy to expand my blessings in a way that balances the yin and the yang.

The most fabulous thing happened when I made this switch: I found peace. I also found patience, delight, joy, stillness, gratitude, and so much beauty around me. My relationships became more gratifying. My interactions with people grew deeper, more kind, empathetic, and compassionate. Where before I looked for opportunities, strategies, and my next leg up, I now look for growth, connection, and service. 

So, how does one know if what is being presented to them is their True North? It will feel right. Energy not within your best and highest good doesn’t feel good; it feels off. It feels wrong, and it may even cause emotional or physical discomfort. It's possible that the pain it's causing isn't even yours; it may be felt by a (true) loved one. If it feels or looks icky, it’s your cue that whatever you’re doing isn't your True North.

I'd love to tell you that flipping your thinking from 'doing' to 'receiving' is easy. It's not. I believe I mentioned to you that it took me fifty years. So, yeah... there's that. But if you can begin by simply identifying what your True North is, you'll have a place to start. Just in case you don't know, it's the thing that lights you up, excites you, and makes time somehow magically disappear when you do it. If you're already living a life full of this, I salute you and give you my best cyber high-five. If you're not, my simple advice is to start spending more time doing whatever that is. The more time you devote to your True North, the more time you're telling the universe what you want. 

If you don't know this already, let me tell you: the universe is always listening. When you place your energy into things that are derived from your most authentic self and your heart center, the result will always lead to peace because that is the universe’s ultimate goal for you, and that’s the truth, my friend.

In the meantime, try giving your Masculine Energy a bit of a break and manifesting what you really want through your Feminine Energy. The results just might very well surprise you.

“And, when you want something, all the universe conspires in helping you to achieve it.” —Paulo Coelho, The Alchemist