Be Curious. Not Judgmental.
What is it about being young that fills people with the desperate need to be right about everything all of the time (I know that this trait isn’t necessarily an age thing, particularly in today’s day and age, but roll with me on this)? When I think back on all of the countless and pointless arguments I’ve had in my life, all I can think about is how many minutes and hours were wasted on fighting to win something that usually had no meaning or worth with regard to the quality of my life.
Don’t get me wrong; being right has served me well in a lot of situations. I’ve saved money, aggravation, and buckets of self-confidence by being right and asserting myself when necessary. However, I never learned the art of discernment in relation to my desire to be correct until much later in life.
Pick your battles, as they say.
In my younger days, I would vehemently proclaim my right to be right as often as I could and usually on subjects I could give a shit about. It was the rush, the wit, and the win that held me firmly in its grip.
In my not-so-younger days, I find that my lack of knowledge has me reveling in the need to know the whys and hows and what fors when it comes to figuring out what makes people tick.
These days, I’m so much more interested in curiosity and understanding than I am in the need to be right. WOW do I like this state of mind so much more!
Rather than waiting for someone to quit talking so I can insert what I, of course, view as pure brilliance that will, obviously, completely change their thinking once they hear the wisdom oozing from my mouth, I now ask questions and then, get this: I shut up and listen. Do you know what happens when I do this? I learn. I understand. I open my mind. I make informed decisions.
Then I ask more questions.
This isn’t to say that I agree with what someone is saying to me all of the time, but the wonderful thing is that being correct has nothing to do with my conversations anymore. I don’t care who’s right or wrong because that’s no longer my goal. As I get older, my goal is to learn something new and allow my perspective to change if it chooses to. Without attaching competition to conversations, I now have more room for appreciation for someone else’s narrative.
Win/win.
Life is filled with all kinds of wonders and fascinations. What a waste it would be to allow fear of the unknown to block all the mystical marvels awaiting your hippocampus, not to mention all of the new, bizarre, and unimaginable conversations that would’ve passed you right by.
Be curious. Not judgmental. —Author unknown (usually misattributed to Walt Whitman)
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If you’re interested in being curious, reach out. I can help with that. Don’t forget to sign up for the newsletter to get your free copy of The Little Guide to Self-Love.
